Tuesday 23 August 2016

My Own Dark Spaces

As I lay my legs on the fence in my balcony and sipped coffee, memories came rushing to me like a wildfire. To adore the setting, rain started its water works and swept away the mask of happiness that lay perfectly on my face. Adele did her part and in a beautifully designed time machine, I traveled to my past.

Much forgotten, much burned but still sturdy and profoundly dark.

I saw us holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. I saw us dreaming about the things that we would do together. That 24-seconds stare game that I lost every time so that I could see her win still made me smile. Going further inside my dark spaces, I see us saying goodbye to each other at the exact same place where we had seen other for the very first time and at that moment, our so called 'perfect' relation faded in thin air like a puff of smoke.

I may be dumb to still think about my past even though I have a very happy present. But the truth is, the dark spaces have become a part of me like scars and no matter how much you try to get rid of it, it persists, somewhere within me. It's like a switch that can flip anytime.

So when they ask me today as to why do I write dark stuff, this is all they need to know. It's not something that comes in my mind out of nowhere but something that I have learned to live with. It's something that makes me realize what went wrong in the past and helps me guard my walls. My own Dark Spaces.